Mud People

I was listening to an actual radio station Today.  They mentioned that organizers had to cancel the 50th anniversary celebration of Woodstock.  I paused. 50th year....  wasn’t just 25 years ahhhhh..... I’m old.

And with that, I realize that I am much more retro than modern. I am old enough to remember rotary phones and ALF, but young enough to keep up with the latest technologies.  

It is weird though.  When I think back to when MTV has actual music on it and the Woodstock festival was a huge deal.  It is was apart of my teenage years, but time flies when you are having fun I guess.  It is true that life can flash before your eyes unless you take some time for yourself. 

Smell some 🌹 

Infested

When I was in property management, bed bugs and German roaches were a 4 letter word.  Whatever pest control company we used, when an apartment was “infested” with either of these two pest, it almost always meant that the unit had to be taken off line for an undetermined amount of time.  The most challenging part of the removal was never pest themselves, it more than likely dealt with the tenant that caused the infestation in the first place. That tenant’s actions, unless it was properly corrected, would only welcome back the same pest. 

America is infested with racism.  It is our original sin, and although we have had pest control in 1865 and the 1960’s, we have never really addressed the sin that is racism in this country.  See back then, they just hid under hoods and masked.  They made laws that held back progress.  They used law enforcement as an extended arm of bigotry in places like Philadelphia(MS) and Chicago. And now, the infestation has come out with tiki torches. They call law enforcement on men mowing their own lawns.  We have never reconciled a past that as of today, has 10 year old black children charged with aggravated assault for playing dodgeball.  The statistics and numbers already tell a story that most Americans would rather “look away” from, our history continues to define our future.  

Resolution:  

Often when an apartment was so bad, the entire building had to be “tented” and the pest would be smoked out. This process was arduous and.... expensive, but it worked. Every time.  Smoke’m out. Expose them for their actions and behavior. Expose them for their silence and complicity.  From the White House to the School yard to the TSA, unless we stomp it out of every corner of this country, we will never rid ourselves of this infestation. 

Dumbo

I have an Elephant in the room that I need to address. It was recently brought to my attention a concern over Mandi’s health due to the absence of her from my photos.  I can say that although she is fighting other immunity issues, she has beaten Cancer like I knew she would. She is in better health and has recovered from her chemo treatments as well as her hysterectomy.  

Unfortunately, our marriage, which was on shaky ground prior to a rash of sicknesses and passings(my Mom and her Dad), was not strong enough to survive the winter.  We officially separated in late August of 2018.

We both are dedicated to raising our shared children with all the love they deserve.  Although we are no longer under one household, our children are a priority in both of our lives.  Both Kaia and Emanuel have adjusted as well as can be expected, and look forward to both time at Mommy’s house and Daddy’s house.  We will both continue to keep God first in their lives and participate actively in pointing them back to their Heavenly Father. 

Many changes have taken place over the past year in both of our lives. I wish Mandi nothing but happiness and joy as she continues down her chosen path.  Given some time to reflect, I too have recalibrated my life to focus first and foremost on my faith, and then my children.   

So to recap, everyone is in relative good health. Kids are as happy as can be expected. (See the photo evidence).  Mandi has gone back to her maiden name, Coggon, if you are looking for her on social media.  I have begun a new path, new career, and new interest.  I will also be launching a new ministry tapping into my passion of ending homelessness. 

Asking for privacy and no comments publicly. You can always message me privately. I do ask that you continue to pray for Mandi’s health, our children, and future paths. 

I leave you with a quote from a song that has gotten me through these difficult past few months. 

“When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me

You have been so, so good to me

When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me

You have been so, so kind to me

And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God

Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine

And I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God”

~Reckless Love 

Cory Asbury

Chick Fil A is not a safe space

Chick Fil-A is not a safe space for children,

…at least my children.

This sentence almost seems like an oxymoron.  For years I have enjoyed their Deluxe Chicken Sandwiches’ slathered in Polynesian sauce.  Waffle fries dipped in honey mustard only provided a cherry on top of an excellent prepared meal with over the top customer service.  The Christian values that are held so close to the company that it still remains closed on Sundays is reflected in the character of each employee.  I can 100% say that I have never had a less than perfect experience at Chick-Fil-A. 

This evening shortly after swapping kids, I asked Kaia how her day was with Mommy(Mandi)?   She said it was ok, almost sunken in her words.  I pressed and asked what they did today.  “Not much, we went to Chick-Fil-A, oh but daddy… this girl on the playground, she said… that she doesn’t like to play with black kids… cause they are smelly”.  My heart sank.   She continued, then this other girl said, “Hey, I have black friends, they don’t stink.”  I listened and let her finish the story, “So I climbed up the latter and got away from her, then I told Mommy what she said.  Mommy came back to look for her, but we didn’t see her so we just left”

I wish this story wasn’t true, like my last post, I wish this was just an allegorical or hypothetical situation.  I wish this was like my allusion to a circumstance like this happening that I made a couple of years ago, but it is not.  It happened on July 19^th in 2019.  Not 1969…. 2019.

First and foremost, Kaia is ok.  She was sad that it happened, but Mandi quickly addressed the issue that some people in this world will never know how wonderful of a person she is.  It is their lost not hers.  These sentiments are all very true, and Kaia has much more love in her life that will make this singular incident seem miniscule, yet it happened.  I am careful not to project my frustration and disgust of the situation onto her tender heart who sees the world with amazement and wonder, not bitterness and jade that was projected on me as a child. 

Girl 1.  Children are sponges.  In talking with Mandi later in the evening, I learned that girl was 10 or 11 according to Kaia.  An age where she is old enough to hear conversations her parents say, and definitely old enough to hear or see news clips.  It was just this Monday morning on my way to work, that I had to explain to Kaia why the President would tell people who look like her and I, to go back to the countries that we came from.  I explained that some people do not have Jesus in their heart, although they pretend too.  Children do not naturally hate; it is a learned behavior from the parents.

Girl 2.  If I were at this Chick-Fil-A, I would like to think that I would seek girl #2 over girl #1.  I would like to thank her for sticking up for what is right and not being afraid to call out racism when she hears it.  She deserves more than an ice cream cone, she deserves respect from a little girl who now has to look in the mirror and wonder why someone would say a mean thing to a person they never met.  Just as there are hateful people in the world, there are equal good people who are not afraid to speak up and stand up for what is right. 

Soapbox:

Over the past few weeks I have vowed not be silent.  I have vowed to use my voice and circle of influence to call out hatred as I see it.  So here goes.  If you are still reading this, and you have a MAGA hat, you are girl 1.  If you attend a rally where persons of brown skin are disparaged and berated for seeking the American dream, you are girl 1.  If you like a tweet where the sitting President of the United States of America alludes to persons of darker melanin to go back to there countries, you are girl 1.  If you turn your head to basic human rights violations because you care more for the green in your pocket, you are girl 1.  I have learned that people have a shut off mechanism when they are called the “R” word, so from here on out, Girl 1 will be my personal dog whistle.  Unlike Mandi and Kaia, I’m not going anywhere.  You will be called out and exposed for your hate, then I will leave it between you and your creator.

Now, for all the Girl 2’s out there.   The ones who stand up at work when someone makes an insensitive joke… even though no one of color is around.  The ones who look past their party lines to see the humanity in all people.  The Girl 2’s who walked lock step, arm in arm across the Pettis Bridge.  Please feel free to meet me at downtown Deland any Tuesday night, I would like to buy you a scoop of ice cream.